“A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.” Proverbs 29:5
Devotional Thought For The Day
What does it mean to “flatter” someone? Well, it is to praise a person which isn’t bad in itself, but to praise him in a way that adds certain negative elements. First, the praise is exaggerated – the person isn’t really all that he is being praised as being, so the praise inflates a person and distorts his self-image. Second, the praise is not sincere – the one flattering doesn’t really believe what he is saying about the person. Third, the praise is intended to ingratiate oneself to the person; there are ulterior motives other than to build up, commend, and thank the person, selfish and perhaps evil motives. These are the reasons why flattery is such a despicable behavior.
The proverb details the dangers of flattery – and the danger is the same whether the flatterer is intentionally setting the trap or is just a selfish and foolish toady. It is a terrible thing to become convinced that you have greater strength, talent, support, help, popularity, cleverness, intellect, power, authority, or knowledge than you really have. When you then attempt things – whether challenges or in conflicts – based on a false assessment of ability and strength, you are likely to fail and fall, and often much is risked and subsequently lost in such foolish endeavors. Almost all of us have witnessed such personal disasters and perhaps experienced some ourselves. It is shamefully amusing if the person has become insufferably arrogant and is deserving a fall [“pride goes before the fall” – Prov. 16:8], but it is excruciatingly painful when a decent, sincere, but perhaps naive person attempts something good but fails because of an overestimation of himself. The shame and searing disappointment is much intensified when we realize that someone intentionally set us up for such failure; and there is perhaps no more damnable and despicable a person than one who crafts such disasters. About the only thing worse is one who commits his support and encourages action, but who then becomes a traitor and withdraws his support at the critical time – and then watches the crushing defeat unscathed from the sidelines.
So we must watch our tongues when giving praise. This requires wisdom, for the praise-worthy deserve our praise, commendation, and thanks. However, certainly such praise should be honest and not inflating, and it should be sincerely given [not for ulterior motives], and it dare not be given with the goal of making someone arrogantly vulnerable to disaster. This often happens when we unthinkingly commend someone who rather requires correction [which would then involve us in painful conflict], and so by our praise we cement them in their impenitence and commitment to an evil course. And if we encourage someone to action and pledge them our support in an endeavor that could be costly we had better follow through and remain faithful regardless of the outcome or the cost. There are much worse things than suffering for our loyalty and faithfulness to another!
When it comes to protecting ourselves against flattery and the distortions, arrogance, and disasters it can bring, humility is the best course. Of course, humility can also be used as an excuse and covering for laziness and fearfulness, so that one ends up risking nothing, exerting nothing, and accomplishing nothing. We need to have confidence and courage, especially when risking much for very good and positive things, but our confidence should be reasonable and also based primarily in God – especially His Words and promises in Holy Scripture. We too need to be able to accept praise, commendation, and thanks – but we should learn to do so humbly and perhaps with a grain of salt. And it is wise to consider the source. And it is also wise to remain in repentance, being brutally honest with ourselves. If we do so we are fairly insulated against ever thinking too highly of ourselves. Looking downward regularly helps us remain aware of the nets lying in wait for our feet. And since it is difficult to gain leverage for work with our noses in the air, it is certain that we will be more productive if we expunge arrogance and remain humbly prepared to do what is required of us.
There is much to learn when considering flattery – about ourselves, about others, about dangers, about productiveness, about loyalty and honor, and about our fallen sinful condition. May God grant us good and faithful friends who keep us level-minded and grounded and encouraged. May God grant that we be such good and faithful friends to others!
Prayer For The Day
Dear Lord Jesus, preserve us always from the pleasing saccharine of flattery, which leads us unwittingly into difficult and deadly snares. Remove all falsehood from our hearts and minds that we never engage in such dastardly and disloyal behavior of flattering others. Keep us humble in regard to ourselves but confident and full of courage in Your promises and power, that we be eager to engage work and duty at all times, even when it involves risk, discomfort, or even loss. Give us good friends and enable us to be good friends to those around us. Amen.