“Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” Proverbs 27:5
Devotional Thought For The Day
I’ve found this a difficult proverb to contemplate. Much depends upon the nature of the “open rebuke” and also what is meant by “hidden love.” Most commentators assume that the “rebuke” is warranted, is proper rebuke, that required by the teaching of Holy Scripture, against something we have said or done that is forbidden by God’s Word. This is good and loving rebuke, though painful, and we require such rebuke, for our capacity to self-justify and hide our evil even from ourselves is immense. However, we are also often rebuked these days for things that are no sin at all, but for merely “offending” someone – and such “rebuke” is hypocritical and evil. The intent is to demean and belittle others, to hurt and harm them, and to reject them. The intended result of a proper and truly loving rebuke is good, as Jesus taught us [Matt. 18:15] – that we may “gain” our brother through his repentance and our forgiveness. Such “open” rebuke, however, is between “you and him alone,” and if you have gained your brother the matter is concluded, through genuine love.
In regard to what is denoted as “hidden love,” we have two options. It could refer to a real love that is kept within another’s heart, a love that does us little or no good in that it is never expressed, and never cares enough to actually correct or rebuke us. However, even such a love falls short of being real and actual love, that of “deed and truth” [1 John 3:18], and is inferior to a genuinely loving rebuke. The other option is to peek ahead to the next proverb which speaks of a profusion of “the kisses of an enemy.” This is a hypocritical and feigned “love” which is adopted by an “enemy,” a “love” which covers over one’s real desire to hurt and harm us by first disarming our caution. One assumes good will and genuine love all the way up to the time when the knife is quickly and deftly inserted into the heart. The obvious wretchedness of this kind of “love,” which is actually a cleverly disguised malice and hatred, obviously does not compare favorably to the love of a true and genuine friend who properly rebukes us out of real and faithful love for us – even though false flattery feels better at the time than does the pain of rebuke.
So the proverb warns us to be discerning when it comes to other people, both to those who cause us pain with proper and loving rebuke, and all others who may toady up to us but either have no real love or are covering over a hateful and malicious heart toward us. Sadly, since love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things” [1 Cor. 13:7], we must always have some vulnerability to spiteful, hypocritical enemies. However, in the end we will know them by their fruits. Of greater importance is to apply the proverb to ourselves, so that we may grow in exercising real and genuine love toward others. First, that we take great care in repenting of all evil intentions toward others, and that we remove all wicked hypocrisy from our hearts. Second, that our motives are always proper in our loving rebuke of others, that our intent is not malicious. To accomplish this, we must carefully follow the instructions Jesus gives us in regard to admonishing one who has sinned against us. Again, those who refuse to abide and follow Jesus’ instructions demonstrate what is really in their heart. Third, that we love enough only to rebuke what is forbidden by God’s Word, and not that which merely “offends” us. There is much that we must “bear” in all relationships and friendships that “displeases” us, but which certainly does not involve any “sin” or violation of God’s Word. To “major in minors” and to seek to hurt or “un-friend” others because of such minor non-sinful offenses also reveals evil in our own hearts. For this we need to repent and to take refuge in God’s gracious mercy, forgiveness, and love. Living in His love – recognizing what He puts up with in us, and all that He forgives us – will help and heal us in our love for others. May God help us in this, and protect us from the “hidden love” of others, especially our enemies.
Scripture Cited
Matt. 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
1 John 3:18 “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”
Prayer For The Day
Dear Lord Jesus, in all relationships we are vulnerable to feigned love and the malice of others. Protect us from those who seek our ruin. We also respond negatively to that true love which lovingly admonishes and rebukes us. Forgive us for this, and enable us to truly appreciate such love. Help us also with the evil in our own hearts, our malice and our lack of love for others. Preserve us from acting deceitfully and wickedly toward others. Grant that Your love continue to soften our hearts and empower us to greater love for others. Amen.