“A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.” Proverbs 27:15,16
Devotional Thought For The Day
Obviously it is completely futile and frustrating to try to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s hand. The continual dripping on a rainy day brings to mind not only the frustration of having one’s attention diverted, but all of the concerns that such leaks bring – damage to the structure, and damage to items where the water is collecting, the cost and hassle of upcoming roof repairs. The circumstance described is one of utter frustration and anxiety mixed with the anger of being completely unable to alleviate the problem. This is like “water torture.”
The problem identified as causing this horrid circumstance? “A quarrelsome wife.” I’m certain that the same is true when it comes to other quarrelsome individuals – however we generally do not have life-long commitments to others, or live in the same quarters with them. So we have “outs” with other people but not with our spouse. We can change jobs, move away from neighbors, “un-friend” people we can’t stand, but we are generally stuck with our spouse. Why the “wife” is identified and the husband omitted I will leave to others, but it is certain that a quarrelsome husband is just as excruciating to bear.
There are a myriad of reasons as to why someone might become “quarrelsome.” I suppose some are understandable – a person simply gets to the end of his rope and refuses to be civil anymore. For some perhaps pain – whether physical, mental, or emotional – may make them irritable and quarrelsome. Many choose to be quarrelsome to bolster their own ego or to manipulate others for their benefit or advantage. Some may be quarrelsome because they are facing important issues that require clarification and correction out of love for others. Often, being quarrelsome becomes habitual, particularly in certain relationships, and so it becomes an auto-pilot response regardless of what the other says or does, or the merit and sense of their position. We just don’t like them so we are going to oppose whatever they say or do. Regardless of the cause, everyone should understand the effect, and if we have become quarrelsome we should take stock of the grief we are bringing to others.
I suppose some might find God quarrelsome – He certainly stands up for what is right, and for others in the face of our sin. But God doesn’t just confront. He was willing to pay the ultimate price for the consequence of our sin, so that we could be reconciled to Him in His gracious forgiveness and mercy. He continues to offer His love and salvation to all people – though the many remain quarrelsome toward Him. In the warmth of His love and kindness, He also shows us how to be more kindly and loving toward others, and this love frees and compels us to turn away from the hurtfulness and destructiveness of being quarrelsome. This alone offers cure and respite from the contentiousness of sin. We do well, both inwardly and outwardly to contemplate His love and allow its influence in our hearts, that His peace and joy might overcome our hurts and malice.
If we are in circumstances akin to what is described in our text, we will have to pray God for strength, patience, and perseverance in bearing with the other. We will need to recognize that there is no external restraint of someone who is quarrelsome. We may need “time out” to recover and re-balance ourselves, so that we can continue to respond with strong and resolved kindness and gentleness. Perhaps God will touch them with His love and soothe their inner being. But we cannot let our love grow cold, or allow the quarrelsome to change the nature of our hearts. We would never want God to do this toward us. And if we see a brother or sister enduring such trial in faith and love, let us pray for them and have empathy for them. It is a godly thing to remain faithful and loving to someone who is quarrelsome.
Prayer For The Day
Dear Lord Jesus, You are fully aware of our quarrelsome nature, of this dismal effect that sin has upon human being. Thank You for Your patient love and for enduring our complaints and our arguments. Grant that we may be calmed and quieted by Your love, so that we do not afflict others by being quarrelsome. Grant also that those afflicted by the quarrelsome may endure patiently until You give them relief. We look forward to the fulfillment of Your promise, when we will no longer have to live in and endure the effects of sin. Amen.